There's trouble afoot at the Circle K...

It's sad, because Adam Brody is like my hero.

2006-03-07T12:19:00.000-05:00

2006-02-17T00:58:00.000-05:00

MySpace

2006-02-10T11:58:00.000-05:00

I am currently trying to set up a myspace page, mostly for networking, and getting my work out there. I really have no idea what I'm doing, but you can find my site here .

2006-01-01T12:18:00.000-05:00

PUBLIC HUMILIATION!!!! Happy New Years everyone.

I got this drunken email this morning.

HELLO MATT!

it is new years ang i a dooooooooooooooooooo drunk! I amd at geofos house.

we went in the hot matb and it wa ssooooooooooooooooo fuN!

brian stays yoru penis is equesite. serilsu.

i musst yhou beeddy. from brian.

dued youre' rpetty hot also from brian.

I lvoe you from brianana.

touch briana's boum good. from natnealie.

briana gneeds a godo pbum tuocuhign. from natelai.e

hello from megan.

fuck you mothervukd3er fuke fukc from steve mothervuck.

ooo fucking woo from steve.

woo

what ckind of boxers do you wear from dana.

how thinck are your glasses and if you grea 2 w a mustache how if with was purpwl ewhy woudl yoru children be name boedb mustach eif you grew from steve and canda yobuw ext sfriends.

post on the blog from steve.

I loe you you are handsome.

briana.

your woman.

geoff is also your woman.

ihe has a ursh o you and kathy is your mom./

she is hot sliek spagehttlii pboos poooooooooooooooool.

biranan.

Never let drunk people near a computer. Ever.

Know you know, and knowing is half the battle.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

2005-12-02T01:29:00.000-05:00

This and other equally life-saving facts here.

You'll thank me some day.

I always knew Ivey graduates were illiterate

2005-11-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

So has anyone else been to the Ivey Library? Man it's like a frickin' tomb!

I had to go get a book there today, and upon walking in, I noticed rows and rows of empty shelves. Now this caught me as a little bit suspect, and upon further exploration, I found where they keep all of their books. In a BOMB SHELTER.

There was a sign pointing to some stairs that said BOOKS in large letters, which made me think of how when people try to talk to someone who doesn't speak english, they alway talk slower and louder. I follow these stairs, thinking that they have a separate section down on the next level, that is was bigger than the main part of the library. I ended up going down three stories, down rickety metal stairs, to find stacks way smaller than the other parts of the library. And all I could think of when I was down there was that at one time this room had been used by people to tough it out while waiting for the bomb to drop.

So I took out three books, and man, did I ever dent the collection. Needless to say when I am done with these books I will never go into that creepy dungeon again.

Peace.

Guess who's back?

2005-11-09T13:49:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap.

Has anyone else even been on this site in the last 6 months? Man, I forgot this thing existed!

Anyways, I seem to have forgotten how much fun it is to post random, stupid stories and rant on about absolutely nothing. So I've decided to make a comeback and bore you with some more posts. That, and this is an effective time killer that keeps me from doing "real" work.

So from one loudmouth to another, I salute the biggest jackass in sports in my latest comeback. This is an article, written by James Duthie of TSN, about everyone's favorite WR, Terrel Owens. For those of you living under a rock (or not into sports), the Philly reciever was recently kicked off of the Eagles after going on a tyrade, lashing out at Donovan McNabb, Andy Reid, and the rest of the Eagles' organization. He seemed to think that they aren't playing like they should be, and little does he realize, THAT INCLUDES HIM. Duthie wrote this article to kind of make fun of him, and sadly, I could see this being a real life anecdote too.

11/9/2005
It’s the time of the year for mid-season replacement shows on all the networks. Coming this week to UPN, from the makers of the Chris Rock bio-hit Everybody Hates Chris, It's Everybody Hates Terrell, chronicling the early years in the life of Terrell Owens. We obtained an advance script:

Scene 1: Hospital Delivery Room:

Doctor: "I see the head! Here it comes! Mrs. Owens you have a beautiful baby boy!"

Baby Terrell: "Damn right I’m beautiful! Did you guys see that move? I juked and jived so bad, that birth canal had no chance to slow me down! Now watch me shake off this placenta!"
(Baby Terrell straight-arms the nurse, leaps to the floor, moonwalks across the room, and back flips into his mothers arms)

Nurse: "Did that…really…just…happen?"

Baby Terrell: "Damn right it happened! You can’t cover T.O lady! Nobody stops Baby T.O!"

Doctor: "But…I thought babies only talked in really bad John Travolta movies?"

Baby Terrell: "Ain’t never been a baby like Baby T.O! So who wants Baby T.O’s first autograph?"

Doctor: "Hey…where did you pull that sharpie out of…Oh Dear God!"

Scene 2: Kindergarten Playground

Teacher: "Timmy, why are you crying?

Timmy (sniffling): "We were playing Duck, Duck, Goose and Terrell told me he was going to make me his b***h!"

Teacher: "Terrell, you get over here! I’ve told you a thousand times, don’t trash-talk the other children!"

Young Terrell: "Hold on teach, it’s my turn. Watch this! Duck…Duck…Duck…Duck…Goose! Just try to catch me sucka! No one catches T.O! See! I win again!"

(Young Terrell proceeds to do his latest Duck Duck Goose victory celebration dance, pulling a pretend rifle from his back and shooting a pretend goose from the sky.)

Teacher: "That’s enough Terrell! No more recess for you this week!"

Young Terrell: "That’s it! I want out! I want to be transferred to a new school! And I want them to cover my milk money!"

Teacher: "Terrell, you are five years old! You aren’t going anywhere except the principal’s office…NOW!

Scene 3: Principal’s Office

Principal: "Umm…Terrell…Who is the kid sitting next to you?"

Young Terrell: "That’s Drew from Grade 3. He can write! He’s my new agent!"

Drew: "Mr. Principal, I have complied a list of demands including new crayons weekly, unlimited Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at snack time, and exclusive access to the big slide in the playground at lunch and after school."

Principal: "GET OUT!

(Drew runs from the room, screaming something about filing a grievance)

Principal: "Look Terrell. You apologize right now. Or you are suspended."

Young Terrell (sighs): "All right."

(He pulls a crumpled paper from his pocket)

Young Terrell: "I guess T.O is kinda sorry for…"

Principal: "Are you…reading a prepared statement?!?"

Young Terrell: "Hey…I AM! I can read! Another score for T.O! He’s done it again!"

(Young Terrell jumps on the principal’s desk and does his new "I can read" celebration dance: he flips through the pages of an imaginary book, mouthing the words to an imaginary audience, then bows, spikes the pretend book to the floor, and flexes.)

The Principal puts his head on the desk and sobs. Credits roll.

Next week: Young Terrell hold his first news conference after dominating a game of Red Rover. He promises to recreate the scene in a Right Guard commercial some day.

Here's to hoping no one picks him up in the offseason, and finally football will be rid of this overpriced, overbearing waste of space. Then maybe we can start looking at getting rid of other high-priced wastes, such as Alexei Yashin, Vince Carter and Ricky Williams.

Glad to be back.

Aaaaaaaannnd I'm done.

2005-04-26T17:08:00.000-04:00

So, it's Tuesday.

I know I haven't posted in a while, and for that. I apologize. I've been to busy doing absolutely nothing. Today is my last day to do jack shit as I prepare myself for a summer full of work and school.

Just an update: I move into my new place this weekend, and I'm slowly moving my shit out, bit by bit. I may not have internet for a while, so peace out and chill homies. Oh yeah. My phone bust. It's a story for another time. I'll tell you all later. Consequently I am also phone for a while. So don't call me.

Ok bye for now

Well Awlroight then (he says in a cockney accent)

2005-04-18T00:57:00.000-04:00

Let me first say that I am a genius! I installed my new DVD-burner (just the latest in a long line of stupid purchases) by myself, in half an hour, with out getting shocked, cut, burned, or otherwise beat up in any way.

Let the piracy begin! If anyone has a large DVD collection that I can delve into, I will gladly trade you a few burned ones from my collection in exchange for access to yours.

Man, work is KILLING ME. Run here, rune there, get this, get that... Goddamn it GET IT YOURSELF!!!

...

Ok I'm done ranting. For those wondering, Mr. M. Simpson may be getting a serving position in the near future... so come on down to Fellini's and support a poor man!

Now, if only I could put as much time into studying as I do working... I may just pass this year!

Lates

I just got screwed.

2005-04-11T09:47:00.000-04:00

What kind of landlord send a repair guy over at 8 in the morning with C.O.D. bill when we weren't even told he was coming? And should I really have have to pay said bill? I put a ball hockey ball through our front window. It was an accident.

I'm going to read up on this. I knew there was a reason I should have gone to my law lectures.

Edit: I checked it out, and yes I do have to pay for it. Balls. There goes $135 I don't have.

DrUnK!

2005-04-08T02:25:00.000-04:00

trying to post like darrunbloggis.

Not really working because I am a better typer while drunk.

I love bri

So many hot girls

All I could think about was "perfect bod, perfect ass" Bri.

I ordered pizza. Where is it?

I saw Gary Valk. Where did he go? Where did Leslie go?

Why am I so drunk for 6 beers and 2 rye & cokes?

Who knows. 9 am class.

Bye!

p.s. Penes.

It never ends

2005-03-30T14:50:00.000-05:00

"America Light", eh?

Watch this.

I'm not sure if they were kidding or not. I wonder how many other ignorant americans believe this shit.

Also, go to mediamatters.org to see more bad reporting and paranoia propoganda.

Yay Drunk!

2005-03-29T00:43:00.000-05:00

We went to molly's! I got drunk! Too Drunk to sing!

Now we're home! Yay Carlsberg Red!

Bye for now.

Matt

P.S. I have a LiveStrong bracelet now! Rule!

I'm OLD!

2005-03-28T10:26:00.000-05:00

No. Stay positive. I am only celebrating the first anniversary of my 21st birthday today.

Yeah right.

That being said, anyone reading this is invited to Molly Bloom's tonight for some drunken kareoke and general good times. You don't have to sing for me, you can just laugh at me being all drunk and singing.

See you all there!!!

"Rum is a vile drink that turns even the purest men into scoundrels"

2005-03-26T15:07:00.000-05:00

Bacardi 151
Congratulations! You're 132 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (83), and liquor (86).

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high
that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure,
you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to
the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is
most efficient.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 57% on proof
You scored higher than 90% on beer index
You scored higher than 93% on wine index
You scored higher than 93% on liquor index

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid

2005-03-23T11:14:00.001-05:00

This dude was incredible. He went even lower than that.

2005-03-23T11:14:00.000-05:00

After tubing or wakeboarding or something... I don't remember

2005-03-23T11:13:00.000-05:00

By the Beachside restaurant at sunset

Back!

2005-03-23T11:06:00.000-05:00

Hey all

So, yes, it's Wednesday, and I've been back for a few days. Yes, I know I promised I would post right when I got back. But I'm lazy. Fuck You.

I have stories to tell, but most of them sound the same: I sat on the beach, played guitar/read my book, and drank. So I'll let the pictures do the talking.

DONE!

2005-03-11T15:48:00.000-05:00

Haha bitches!

Congrats, Bri! Kick ass!

Gone to ARUBA until the 20th, so email me and I won't respond to you, or call me and I'll ignore your message! Ha!

Pics and stories to post when I get back.

TTFN!

Busy, busy, busy

2005-03-09T15:34:00.000-05:00

In the next 48 hours, I have to:

Finish writing and transcribing 2 songs for thursday night

Finishing editing, mixing and mastering a song for friday morning

Rip, sample, and map out my electro composition

Study for a midterm that is Thursday night at 5

Find a place to live, without my roommate

Oh yeah, and pack.

Yes, I'm going to Aruba, but I have WAY more shit to do than any of you, so fuck off. Until Friday.

Hallelujah, Lock & Load

2005-03-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

Hey all

So my computer ate my post from Sunday morning, so here I am again writing it.

Taste of Chaos: Wow.

First off, I would like to thank the lovely Miss Briana Roberts for taking me to said show, and sitting through it even though she didn't know much about the bands. You ROCK, honey.

Ok now for the lineup of bands we did see.

The lineup into the show: WAY too long at first, we went and got food while it dwindled, and we ended up missing most of the acoustic stage sets. I would have liked to hear bleed the dream. I hear they rocked.

The Merch tables: Oh man, I love it when swag doesn't cost a fortune. For example: My Used sweatshirt cost me $10 less than a finger eleven hoodie, and the tshirts were a good $15-$20 cheaper. In celebration of this, I bought a Used Hoodie and MCR flexfit hat.

A Static Lullaby: Considering I'd never heard anything by these guys, I found myself humming some of the parts they weren't screaming. They put on a solid performance that was high energy, and the crowd reacted the same in turn. Good jorb, guys.

Underoath: MAN this singer could not handle a mic. He had it taped up in yellow electrical tape, I'm assuming to hold it together. This is because he would try to swing around the mic like Gerard from MCR or Bert from the Used, but failed miserably almost every time. I spent a good portion of this show laughing at him.

Senses Fail: I don't think the singer had his earpiece mointor in. I mean, he was out of time, and out of tune. This could have been due to the limiters taht were put on the earlier bands, but come on. For a screamo singer to be flat, when he's yelling, that's just unacceptable.

Killswitch Engage: Not a big fan, so Bri and I took a breather and stayed outside. All I heard was drums and screaming.

My Chemical Romance: Stole the show. Man, can these guys rock. Started with Helena, which is easily one of my favorite songs, and just kept hitting us with track after track of pure energy. Gerard used his anger to fuel up the crowd, at one point suggesting that "there's not THAT many security guards", and that if someone didn't like what he had to say, they could easily get on stage and "knock him the fuck out". And let me tell you, big-haired guitar player can PLAY. He shreds with the best, man. The highlight was definately Helena, but there were other songs, like Thanks For The Venom and Cemetery Walls where their talent and energy shone. Thanks guys, you made my night.

The Used: Excellent opener. Take it away is just the song to get you pumped. And these guys know how to manage a set - how to build up the energy and release it so no one kills themselves. Bert was on, and it pumped up the rest of the band. I'd seen these guys at warped tour before, and they still continue to impress me with their musicianship and stage presence. Highlight: Either Take It Away, or Blue And Yellow, or I Caught Fire... oh damn it was all good.

Man, I need to start a band so I can go on tour with these guys.

For "Snarley" Harley "Pa" Simpson

2005-03-02T21:44:00.000-05:00

From the other side of the street
Things seem much lighter
From the other side of the street
The World seems brighter
From the other side of the street
We see things clearer
From the other side of the street
I feel you nearer
From the other side...

Now on this side
I did respect you
And on this side
I won't forget you
From the other side of the street
We know you're watching
From the other side of the street

There's so much there to remember
There was so much there to love
When they ask me 'bout my heroes
It's you I'm thinking of

From the other side of the street
We will not fear
From the other side of the street
Wish you were here
Now on this side
We still love you
And on this side
We will miss you

...and we do miss you.
RIP Harland Simpson 1930-2005

Newmarket and Such

2005-02-25T23:59:00.000-05:00

Hey all

I am in Newmarket/Scarborough for the next bit, taking care of family business. If anyone needs me, my cell should be on. The number's 519-868-2742. I don't know when I'll be home, but it should be (hopefully) by the end of the week.

I'll post more when I get a chance.

Random Fact:

2005-02-23T23:25:00.000-05:00

My head is lumpy from being on Accutane. Ask me to feel it, I swear you'll be weirded out.

Fini.

Bleh.

2005-02-17T20:19:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Bleh.

Thanks to the boneheads who ran the NHL into the ground, the boneheads who do the marking in my classes, and the boneheads who run IMS into the ground, that is how I feel.

First, a comment on the NHL: Players, whether they be stars, rookies, or just regular joes, are playing elsewhere for much less money. Most just want to play, and make a half decent living. And hey: Most won't mind a cap. Just ask them. I think that in order to save the league, Bettman and Goodenow need to fired and at least 6 teams need to contract from the league. This will end the very personal labour dispute and with less players making a smaller average amount, salaries will decline, even without the 24% proposed rollback. Let the truly talented play and make hockey like it was even 10 years ago.

Now, for school: No matter how hard I try, I can never do better than what seems to be the average. Up until the time comes to write an exam/assignment/presentation, I feel like I know more than the average person in the class. But when I get my results back, they are always mediocre at best. I can't seem to break this funk, especially in ACS. And this will be the reason I don't get into Law school.

IMS: A bunch of students getting mad at other students for putting on sports leagues as best they can, with no outside assistance from supervisors or full time staff. What else can you expect? We have as much on our plates, if not more, than the average athelete. We are trying our best, so please don't yell at us.

Maybe it's too much work. Maybe it's not enough sleep, or sun, or whatever. I feel like bleh and don't feel I'm coming out of it soon.

Where have all the good bands gone?

2005-02-10T23:11:00.000-05:00

I was listening to presentations today for Songwriting, and I was reintroduced to a band that I loved, but forgot all about:

Rage Against The Machine

Man, I liked these guys for their musical innovation, lyrical flow, and the things they stand for. And it made me think. What band has since made an impact so radical, so profound? Every 10 years or so, someone or something comes along and changes the way we both listen to music and look at the world. I would go so far to say that Rage was the last band to truly do so. What has come since? More rap-rock, over-produced pop-punk and mainstream emo. Bands like Creed and other late 90's schlock bands pretending that they're hard, trying to capture an audience that was so potent in the 70s and 80s, but not realizing that the demographics have changed.

Now don't get me wrong, there are still good bands and artists putting out good music, but none of it really has the weight or meaning that Rage or other influential artists have. Example: I don't think anyone is going to say "Good Charlotte was so innovative and creative that it compelled me to pick up a guitar and try something new."

Rock, and music in general, needs another Rage Against The Machine.

Song Ideas

2005-02-09T19:45:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to write some new songs, and have lots of musical ideas, but I can't seem to get out of the "love song" phase of lyric writing. Most would say this is not a bad thing. However, I think the love I write about is contrived and sounds like a 10 year old or a simpleton wrote it.

SO.

I need your help, whoever out there is writing. Give me some topics to write about. If one of your topics turns into a song, I'll definately make sure you get some credit. Any topic is cool, as long as it's not too vulgar.

Thanks guys

2005-02-09T19:29:00.000-05:00

The Dancing Fool a.k.a. Me

Yay for bandwagon jumping!

2005-02-09T18:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I figure since I am a media whore, and every other media whore across the globe has a blog, I should jump on the bandwagon and start publish my needless and unwanted opinions!

More to come later...